Eric Harris Response 2 at home

15 Jan

Reading Eric Harris’ journal has given me a much greater insight into the mind of campus/school shooter the likes of which I can’t claim to have ever before had or experienced.  He is both incredibly intelligent and greatly disturbed at the same time; both overtly egotistical and painfully insecure.  The parts of his personality that most interested me were his constant hypocritical tendencies and his incredible ego.      

He really likes to talk about how all humans just follow the pack and don’t take advantage of their god given skills.  He blames a lot of societal actions that he too even participates in for his own bad feelings about himself.  He can’t seem to hold back the self-hatred he appears to feel and instead withdraws fully from acknowledging his own flaws, saving him the burdens of such, and instead puts them on others in such a way as to take his anger out on them.  This statement alone, “The human race sucks. human nature is smuthered out by society, jobs, and work and school. instincts are deleted by laws. I see people say things that contradict themselves, or people that dont take any advantage to the gift of human life,” (Harris, 5/6/98), shows his blatant misinterpretation of himself, going as far to accuse other people of being hypocrites when he himself is the worst offender.  In quote he mentions “humans being smothered by society” and claims to hate the media and anything like it when in fact throughout his journal he mentions videogames, movies, TV, etc. in almost every entry and it can be clearly seen that these things have influenced him.

This trait of his allows for another trait of his to exist; his massive ego.  Convinced he is not only better than everyone else, but smarter, and more observant of the world, has given him some of the capabilities to go through with his shooting.  When writing to the audience in his journal he states, “its not to obvious to most of you stupid fucks but for these who think a little more and deeper you should realize it,” (Harris, 4/21/98), in reference to going to school and his belief that it simply turns people in to robots.  This ego all seems to crumble though at the slightest negative thought about himself that he has or another has and it is interesting to watch his internal struggle between his insecurities and his ego.

Harris appears to be writing to in general the entire human race.   This journal is a dictation of his “masterful” ideas and “proclamations”.  He ends or mentions in many of his entries with sentences like, “so until next time, fuck you all,” (5/6/98), showing his generality in who he is addressing.  He also does narrow it down on occasion to specific individuals but their names are always censored as it is related to a criminal investigation.

 

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